torsdag 11 februari 2016

Top 10 Vampire stories

Bram Stoker's Dracula
Topping this list is of course Francis Ford Coppola's now classic interpretation of the original Gothic vampire mastodon, Dracula. Although the novel from 1897 is about as seminal as you can get, it is rather a tedious read. The film from 1992 is spruced up, sexier, bloodier, more passionate and more action-packed, and that's largely down to Gary Oldman's career-defining performance as the grandmaster himself, Vlad Dracula. The best place to begin an exploration of the vampire lore.






Salem's Lot
Stephen King wrote one of the best updates of Bram Stoker's story, in 1975; mainly similar in the presence of a creepy old house and the arrival of a European vampire lord who wreaks havoc on the local population, but with that particular King twang. A writer returns to his small home town of Jerusalem's Lot, Maine, to exorcise some personal demons that are connected to a supposedly haunted house, which has just been bought up and renovated by a pair of mysterious businessmen from Europe. Salem's Lot contains the elements of horror literature that King is such a master of, the pop cultural references, the realistic dialogue and the usual roster of characters from the teacher, the writer, the doctor and the precocious hero child to the small-town dregs of alcoholics, wife beaters and white trash families. It also features the recurring Stephen King themes of horror in a small community and the ultimate disintegration of small town America. It was only King's second novel, but it is mercilessly entertaining from start to finish!   

The Strain
Guillermo del Toro takes some of the style and ideas of his so-so addition to the Blade franchise, Blade II, and creates a thrilling apocalyptic ride through NYC as an ancient vampire master arrives and lets loose a contagion of blood-sucking parasites. If your definition of a vampire story is beautiful immortal romance (à la Twilight, et al), you won't find it here. The Strain has more in common with zombie movies, but like most of del Toro's stuff, it's all a mish-mash: there's a classical Van Helsing-like vampire hunter from Eastern Europe, there's gore and rock 'n' roll, and there's a viral Resident Evil-like armageddon, and it's all just so bloody good!  



What We Do in the Shadows
This indie flick from New Zealand was the biggest surprise hit of 2015 and also one of the cutest, freshest and funniest alternative comedies for some time. Definitely the best vampire-themed comedy since Roman Polanski's The Fearless Vampire Killers from 1967. Four vampires with various personalities and styles share a communal living space and agree to be filmed by a team of documentary filmmakers. Hilarity ensues, with a side order of highly quotable lines ("We're werewolves, not swearwolves") and some believable, well-written and acted moments to boot.




Only Lovers Left Alive
Jim Jarmusch has always been about cool, so when he tackles the vampire genre, it's a match made in heaven. Like most of his films the story is very thin, but in its simplicity lies its richness. We meet two lovers, hinted at as being Adam and Eve themselves, living continents apart who are brought together again in a mostly abandoned Detroit, Michigan. Everything about Only Lovers Left Alive is supercool, from the cast (Tilda Swinton, Tom Hiddleston, John Hurt and Mia Wasikowska), to the dark, goth rock look to the eclectic music. Not a horror film per se, but will definitely satisfy a viewer looking for cool immortal romance.



Interview with the Vampire
Anne Rice's now classic novel is not a great piece of writing in itself, but credit is due because she helped reinvent the vampire mythology almost to its core. In her 1976 Southern Gothic depiction of the destined vampire trio Louis, Lestat and Claudia, readers were introduced for the first time to the modern-day vampire that is all about sex and parties, that is not afraid of crosses and garlic, that has a reflection in the mirror and are more like rock stars than medieval European noblemen. Full of vivid and passionate depictions of 18th century New Orleans, delightfully decadent, the fascinating story of Louis, the doubtful and conscientious vampire, Lestat, the evil and restless gambler and sex addict and Claudia, the vampire child and coldest of all, spawned 11 (!) sequels and a(n inferior) film adaption in 1994.    

Nosferatu
F.W. Murnau pretty much wrote the blue print for all horror films in 1922, with this loose adaptation of Bram Stoker's Dracula, the second best adapation of that novel ever made. Because of certain copyright restrictions, Count Dracula became Count Orlok and 'vampire' became 'Nosferatu', and ironically both became equally integral parts of vampire lore. It's been a long while since I last saw the film, and it's not often one has the stamina to sit through a silent horror film, but its influence cannot be denied and its status as one of the most important parts of vampire lore is set in stone.     




From Dusk Till Dawn
Unlike the previous entry, Robert Rodriguez's and Quentin Tarantino's addition to vampire lore would never be considered important or consequential by (conservative) vampire aficionados. Me, on the other hand, I love it and always have. The story should be well-known by now, not least because of three sequels and a very satisfying TV series remake; two bank robbers make a run for the Mexican border, aboard an RV with their hostages, a preacher who's lost his faith and his family, and end up at a biker bar that is to their surprise run by ancient Aztec vampires. Cue a bunch of sex jokes, over-the-top violence and film buff cameos! With Rodriguez's eye for cinematic extravaganzes and Tarantino's ear for dialogue, a good time is guaranteed.


Thirst
IMO genius filmmaker Park Chan-Wook's obscure vampire drama Thirst from 2009, deserves a spot on this list, if for no other reason because of its sheer originality. A Catholic priest turns into a vampire after a visit to an African missionary hospital, and has a hard time adopting to his new life because of his very strong sense of morality and good nature, until he falls in love with an unhappily married woman who turns out to be more bloodthirsty than he ever could be. Thirst is largely a very liberal adaptation of Émile Zola's 19th century novel about infidelity, Thérèse Raquin, but with a vampire plot thrown in because, why not? Despite its many silly and funny moments, it's a strong film, provocative in many ways, that looks good and is thoroughly moving.


True Blood (season one)
Before True Blood spiraled into ridiculous territory with fairies, shapeshifters, werewolves and gods, it managed to deliver an in many ways excellent and ground-breaking first season. By bringing vampires into the open, vampire lore became a metaphor for racism, in an American South where vampires were struggling for their civil rights, drinking fake blood and, to some extent, being upstanding citizens. The relationship between the civil war vampire Bill Compton and the heroine Sookie Stackhouse was at first dynamic and interesting, as were the viking vampire lord Eric Northman, played by Alexander Skarsgård, and the tension between humans and vampires. In the end, a very good and promising idea was squandered, I think, in an attempt to constantly up itself. But the first season, which came at a time when HBO was really hot and at its best, is still good television and True Blood is either way a noteworthy chapter in vampire lore. 

torsdag 24 december 2015

Top 10 Christmas songs

1 Happy Xmas (War Is Over) by John Lennon & Yoko Ono
Nothing is more Christmassy than this anthem.
 2 Fairytale of New York by The Pogues
Very nearly the greatest Christmas song ever, despite its anti-Christmassy lyrics.
3 Merry Christmas Everybody by Slade
A Christmas punk classic!
4 Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt
This number is so cool and sexy and very Christmassy.
5 Let It Snow by Dean Martin
The best performance of one of the best Christmas classics.

6 Thank God It's Christmas by Queen
Freddie Mercury's voice and the sleigh bells give this little track a real special holiday feel.
7 Must Be Santa by Bob Dylan
The song and the music video is the closest thing to a proper crazy Christmas party a rock star has ever produced.



8 Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth  
by David Bowie & Bing Crosby
This meeting of great singers is slightly awkward but it works.

9 When You Wish Upon a Star
From Disney's "Pinocchio". Technically speaking, not a Christmas song, but it feels very Christmassy, maybe because it's on TV every Christmas.

10 Christmas in Heaven by Monty Python
From "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life," definitely the goofiest, weirdest Christmas song out there. 
 

söndag 30 augusti 2015

Top 10 rockumentaries


1 The Beatles Anthology

Although The Beatles Anthology is technically speaking an eight-part series made for television, it still deserves to take the number one spot on this list because it is nevertheless the definition of a great rockumentary. Not that many rock bands could merit, let alone fill, some ten hours of viewing time with interviews, archive material and audio excerpts like The Beatles and have every minute of it be so thoroughly entertaining.










2 The Filth and the Fury

The story of The Sex Pistols, directed by Julien Temple, who had previously worked with the band on the 1980 mockumentary art film The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle, this rockumentary was a real game-changer when it came in 2000. It set the tone for the genre and influenced many films to come, in the way its interview subjects' faces are not shown on camera, the way it utilizes contemporary music and footage to flesh out the subject matter, the editing style and pace. It is of course also a great story about the chaotic rise and fall of a rock band. No matter how many times I see it, it's still as hilarious and moving as the first time.










3 THE FUTURE IS UNWRITTEn

An excellent companion piece to the previous entry on this list, director Julien Temple pieces together the life and career of the "punk rock warlord" Joe Strummer with unique archive material, footage and interviews around the campfire, thus creating the most comprehensive documentation of the late 1970's punk era. But The Future Is Unwritten is much more than that, it is also the bittersweet story of an eclectic and freewheeling rock star who may have had a middle class background and gone to boarding school but was still a pure punk rock hero in his vagabond soul.










4 Crossfire Hurricane

There have been many Rolling Stones movies over the years, from the weird Sympathy for the Devil, to the legendary concert film Gimme Shelter, to the abysmally boring Shine a Light. The best is Brett Morgan's Crossfire Hurricane from 2012, a rich rockumentary that chronicles the best part of the band's long career, the first twenty years, told by the band themselves and full of excellent archive material.








5 No Direction Home


This is an intimate portrayal of a very private rock star, conducted by Martin Scorsese, who perfectly balances interview and archive material with concert footage, and also infusing the rockumentary with his narrative skill, making No Direction Home both extremely informative and infinitely entertaining. And it's not just a revealing look at the life and career of Bob Dylan, but also the definite film on the New York folk rock scene of the early 1960's.











6 ANVIL! The Story of Anvil

Anvil is a great Canadian heavy metal band that has cult status but never really experienced any mainstream success, until the release of this rockumentary in 2008. After brief success in the early 1980's, Anvil faded into obscurity. Here, their old roadie Sacha Gervasi documents their situation today, consisting of a disastrous European tour and their attempt to record a new album. Anvil! is probably the humblest rockumentary ever made, and it's the charm of the two band members Lips and Robb Reiner that makes the film so engaging.








7 WHEN YOU'RE STRANGE

Tom DiCillo's rockumentary from 2009 chronicles the Doors' rise and fall, a phenomenon that in many ways perfectly mirrors the rise and fall of the hippie movement in the late 1960's. Its focus is of course the enigmatic leading member Jim Morrison, the rock 'n' roll shaman who died at the age of 27 in Paris, where he lived in voluntary exile after being arrested on charges of obscenity. Uniquely, When You're Strange doesn't feature a single interview, just Johnny Depp's laconic voice narrating the band's story.






8 Living in the Material World

Legendary filmmaker Martin Scorsese brings his experience with music-oriented films to this intimate portrayal of another legend, George Harrison, one of rock history's darkest horses. This beautiful rockumentary surprisingly manages to be revealing and informative despite the fact that its subject and all of the Beatles have been so intensely scrutinized over the years.









9 Lambert & Stamp

Directed by James D. Cooper and released in 2015, Lambert & Stamp is an incredibly interesting look at, not The Who, but rather the men behind the band, Kit Lambert and Chris Stamp. The eccentric duo, one a closet homosexual aristocrat, the other a working class rebel, were aspiring filmmakers that stumbled upon one of the most legendary rock bands ever by accident and ended up managing them for most of their existence. Lambert & Stamp is not just a great portrayal of rock stars and music management but of rock history as well, particularly the mods generation.







10 The Decline of Western Civilization 
Part II : The Metal Years

This, the second part in Penelope Spheeris' amazing trilogy The Decline of Western Civilization, is my favorite. Here, she takes a look at the decadent L.A. sleaze metal scene of the 1980's. The music may be considered one of the low points in rock history, and though hair metal is vain and a bit dumb, this rockumentary is hands down a masterpiece, not only because of the filmmaker's visual style but because it features interviews with people other than rock stars, namely the fans.

fredag 28 augusti 2015

Top 10 Seinfeld episodes

1 THE SOUP NAZI
Season 7 Episode 6
Originally aired November 2, 1995
A strict soup stand owner has all his customers terrified.







2 THE CONTEST
Season 4 Episode 11
Originally aired November 18, 1992
George, Jerry, Elaine and Kramer enter into a contest to determine who can go for the longest period of time without masturbating.






3 THE DINNER PARTY
Season 5 Episode 13
Originally aired February 3, 1994
Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer are invited to a dinner party, but they all encounter problems along the way.









4 THE PARKING GARAGE
Season 3 Episode 6
Originally aired October 30, 1991
The gang get lost in a multi-level parking garage of a shopping mall in search of Kramer's car, and Jerry has to go to the bathroom badly.







5 THE PUERTO RICAN DAY
Season 9 Episode 20
Originally aired May 7, 1998
On their way from a New York Mets game, the gang get stuck in a traffic jam caused by the Puerto Rican day parade.









6 THE PACKAGE
Season 8 Episode 5 
Originally aired October 17, 1996
George finds out that the woman at a photo store is looking at his pictures and enlists Kramer's help in taking some seductive photos in order to impress her.








7 THE FROGGER
Season 9 Episode 18
Originally aired April 23, 1998
When their childhood pizzeria goes out of business, George becomes obsessed with trying to save his high score on the Frogger machine.







8 THE WIG MASTER
Season 7 Episode 19
Originally aired April 4, 1996
George discovers why the parking lot is so cheap when he finds a used condom in his car.









9 THE ABSTINENCE
Season 8 Episode 9
Originally aired November 21, 1996
George's girlfriend has mononucleosis and the lack of sex sharpens his mind and makes him smarter while Elaine uses the same method of abstinence to help her boyfriend study to get his licence and becomes stupid in the process.







10 THE LIBRARY
Season 3 Episode 5
Originally aired October 16, 1991
Jerry finds out he is being fined for an unreturned library book from 1971, and gets the library detective on his back.

torsdag 27 augusti 2015

Top 10 Workaholics episodes


1 Piss & Shit
Season 1 Episode 1
Originally aired April 6, 2011
Adam, Ders and Blake have to figure out how to pass a random drug test at work.






2 Beer Heist
Season 4 Episode 8
Originally aired March 12, 2014
The boys will go to any length to impress a group of college girls and end up breaking into a brewery.







3 In Line
Season 3 Episode 19
Originally aired March 13, 2013
Blake wants to get a new video game and asks Adam to get in line for him at midnight. But Adam winds up in a line for clean needles.





 
4 Gramps DeMamp Is Dead
Season 5 Episode 7
Originally aired February 25, 2015
Gramps DeMamp's funeral goes bananas when Adam and his father crash it.






   
5 A TelAmerican Horror Story
Season 3 Episode 12
Originally aired January 23, 2013
Adam has been up all night after a horror movie marathon, and things get spooky when the boys discover a former employee may be haunting the office.




 
6 Man Up
Season 2 Episode 9
Originally aired November 15, 2011
After Jillian saves them from being beaten up in a bar fight, the boys try to 'man up' by going on a hunting trip.





   
7 Temp-Tress
Season 2 Episode 3
Originally aired October 4, 2011
The boys try to make 20 sales in order to win a big fridge with a built-in TV for the hot new temp girl.





 
8 Peyote It Forward
Season 5 Episode 12
Originally aired April 1, 2015
The boys take peyote and find themselves having to babysit.







9 Straight Up Juggahos
Season 1 Episode 7
Originally aired May 18, 2011
The boys try to stop Jillian from attending a work function, so they set her up on a blind date, which turns out to take place at an Insane Clown Posse concert. 








 
10 Orgazmo Birth
Season 4 Episode 1
Originally aired January 22, 2014
The boys prepare for an electronic music festival by stocking up on Molly, but they cannot get their ticket without Montez, whose wife Colleen is having a baby.

onsdag 26 augusti 2015

Top 10 X-Files episodes


1 The Host
Season 2 Episode 2
Originally aired September 23, 1994
Mulder hunts down a worm-like humanoid creature that is going on a murder spree in the New Jersey sewage systems.









2 Darkness Falls
Season 1 Episode 20
Originally aired April 15, 1994
While investigating the disappearance of a team of loggers in the Washington forest, Mulder and Scully find themselves under attack by a swarm of ancient insects that only come out at night. 








3 Agua Mala
Season 6 Episode 13
Originally aired February 21, 1999
As a hurricane approaches Florida, Mulder and Scully become trapped in an apartment building where there is something lurking in the water. 






4 Drive
Season 6 Episode 2
Originally aired November 15, 1998
While on a routine assignment, Mulder is taken hostage in his car by a seemingly deranged man with a gun who claims that he will die if he slows down. Written by Vince Gilligan and guest starring Bryan Cranston.





5 Home
Season 4 Episode 2
Originally aired October 11, 1996
The discovery of the deformed body of an infant in a small town leads Mulder and Scully on a trail to a family of inbred mutants.







 6 Detour
Season 5 Episode 4
Originally aired November 23, 1997
On their way to a conference, Mulder and Scully stop at a roadblock and join a nearby investigation of attacks by an unidentified predator in the woods.





7 Død Calm
Season 2 Episode 19
Originally aired March 10, 1995
Mulder and Scully travel to Norway to investigate a U.S. Navy ship where the sailors all appear to be the victims of unnaturally rapid aging.







8 Quagmire
Season 3 Episode 22
Originally aired May 3, 1996
Mulder and Scully are called in to investigate a series of mysterious deaths near a lake in a small town, where the locals believe in a killer sea serpent called Big Blue.








9 Arcadia 
Season 6 Episode 15
Originally aired March 7, 1999
Mulder and Scully go undercover as a married couple in order to investigate the disappearance of several residents in an idyllic planned community.






10 X-Cops
Season 7 Episode 12
Originally aired February 20, 2000
Mulder and Scully are captured by the Fox reality television program Cops during an X-files investigation.